I was reading a devotional yesterday, which was based on the story of Samson and Delilah told in Judges 16. I was struck by these words found in the last part of verse 30:
"Then Samson said, “Let me die with the Philistines!” And he pushed with all his might, and the temple fell on the lords and all the people who were in it. So the dead that he killed at his death were more than he had killed in his life."
The trouble began for Samson when he fell for Delilah, who was most likely very beautiful, and most definitely evil. She had been offered 1100 pieces of silver by each of the Lords of the Phillistines to entice him and to uncover the secret of his superhuman strength. Judas was only given 30 pieces of silver to betray Jesus! Delilah, it would seem, was a high priced harlot.
In any case, Samson tried lying about the source of his strength three times before finally giving in to her daily nagging. I am sure she withheld from him the thing he desired most, which leads me to believe that he had a bit of a lust problem. In any case, because Samson allowed his passion to rule him, he finally relented and told Delilah the truth, which ultimately led to his demise.
The pivotal moment for Samson was when he repented. Because he did, God not only restored his
strength, but killed 3000 Phillistines in the process. The bible says that Samson killed more Phillistines in his death than in his life.
As I read these words I thought that often God will use us even more powerfully after we have messed up, sinned and repented. I believe that is true for myself, as I have made some very bad mistakes, most of which were the result of unrecognized, uncontrolled or flat out ignored sinful behavior. I hate to use this cliche, but it is so appropriate... you just cannot play with fire long without getting burned.
When I think about King David, the man after God's own heart, and how he not only committed adultery with Bathsheba, but arranged her husband's demise, I am somehow comforted by the knowledge that when he sincerely repented, God forgave him and used him even more mightily than before.
I guess we all learn best in the school of hard knocks. I am who I am today because of an accumulation of mistakes, sinful behavior, repentance and forgiveness. And God is using me in spite of it all, perhaps more powerfully than He was using me before. Of course, the devil will tell you that God cannot use you because of your past. But there is much evidence in God's Word to prove that it is simply not true. A sincere and contrite heart is all it takes for restoration to begin. Samson's hair begin to grow back while he was in prison, thus God already had plans to restore him.
I remember a line from the movie Love Story. "Love means never having to say you're sorry."
That is the goal I have for my life. Trying my hardest never to say or do anything that will grieve the Holy Spirit. Never having to say I am sorry. Will I reach that goal? No. Otherwise I would not need a Savior. To believe I can would be prideful, and that in and of itself is sin. But I will say there is joy in the journey and God will appreciate my efforts to reach that goal. I am also secure in the knowledge that all along the way, should I stumble and fall, God will pick me up, dust me off and send me along...better for the experience and more able to minister to others. For it is not through our perfection that we can most help people, but through and in spite of our flaws. And don't let the devil tell you otherwise.
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